When Nancie and I first got married, she said, "Can you please wash your shaving cream and whiskers out of the sink?" I had never thought about that one day in my life. It's not a cereal bowl. She wants our bed made up every day, complete with seven pillows we're just going to take back off that night. Makes no sense to me. Makes complete sense to her. I'm not alone. A friend of mine put it differently. His side of the bathroom sink is spotless. Her side, his word, is "nasty." He said, "And I hate it when her stuff crosses over into my land." That's the thing about arguing about chores: It usually isn't about the chore at all. Clean to one person is not clean to another. What bothers one person doesn't bother the other. What one person notices, another person will never see. So before you fight about who's right, here's why couples fight about chores (and what to do instead). <...