While I was going through my divorce, if I had a dollar for every time someone told me, “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone else,” it would’ve covered all my legal fees.

My husband (the new one, because, well, those people were right—I did find someone else), lost his daughter to cystic fibrosis in 2015. He heard “she’s in a better place” so much it turned his mourning into anger.

And when a friend lost her job last year, her Facebook feed was flooded with comments about something better being “right around the corner.”

All of these are examples of toxic positivity that came from kind, well-meaning people. I’m sure I’ve dished out my own fair share in an effort to encourage a friend or make an uncomfortable moment less awkward. But what we need to remember is that these words can actually hurt the people we offer them to. Here are 7 signs your positivity could be toxic and what to say instead.


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